I just need to swear profusely for a bit

Rants, Society

Don’t mind me.

So, I read this really difficult (really real) article about why cries of “not all men!” are so damaging, and some asshole in the comments basically acted out what the author was calling out like a friggin’ idiot. I wanted to reply but couldn’t since commenting was closed, and I wouldn’t have commented to the fullest extent of what I wanted anyway since it seems like most people in the comments were being much more respectful than I wanted to be, and I didn’t want to ruin the vibe. Anyway, here’s what I’d like to say to that guy. If you don’t like frustrated rants or profane language don’t read it.


 

The author’s not just talking about calling out harassment when you see it. She’s telling you to STOP with your “not all men” bullshit, which you somehow missed in spite of it being in the FUCKING title. Every time you divert the conversation with “I can’t do anything” or “but that’s not me” you’re diverting attention from an important issue and drowning out the people trying to talk about it. THAT’s what she means – that certain men are constantly ignoring what’s being said about those who harass or remain idle in favour of taking personal offence. Guess what? Every time you do that and try to make it about you instead of listening to someone else’s problems for once, you become part of the fucking problem. You complain that she’s presuming you’re a problem when you think you’re not, but in complaining you became the person this article was written about and for. Ironic, isn’t it. Think this article’s claims don’t apply to you? Then maybe they don’t and you should PIPE THE FUCK DOWN and let someone else talk for a bit. Not everything has to be about you all the goddamn time. The fact that you automatically took offence and got all defensive like this article was attacking you personally just shows how fucking privileged and self-centred you are. I know that for your whole life you’ve been led to believe that the world revolves around you and your thoughts, desires, and problems, but I have news for you. It fucking doesn’t.

I’m not just calling out your flagrant privilege in a cheap attempt to silence any disagreement. I know your defensiveness is a sign of your privilege and lack of perspective because I’ve been there. A Facebook acquaintance who I admire and respect posted “I hate white people” and my first response was, “hey! I’m not that bad! I try to be a good ally! Why are you complaining about me?” and I was about to comment but I stopped. You know why? Because I chilled the fuck out for one fucking second and realized that if she was saying something that bad, she probably had a good reason, and I know I’m not a bad person and that she wasn’t attacking me personally, so there’s no need to take it personally, and I’m capable of realizing that as much as I try to be a good ally and would like to think I’m not part of the problem, I still might be part of the problem in ways I can’t even comprehend without some serious listening and introspection. Want to know what I did instead of commenting? I PIPED THE FUCK DOWN AND LET HER FUCKING TALK FOR A WHILE.

No, I’m not going to try to come up with some stupid answer to your stupid-ass “what do the construction workers have to lose?” question. Want to know why? Because men in business suits TOTALLY cat-call and harass. That’s a HUGE part of the problem with the idea that women can avoid harassment by avoiding certain types of men or certain areas: besides the fact that it puts all the responsibility on the victim, which is stupid and shitty, it’s actually just terrible advice. Not all men do it, but any man could – there’s no way to tell by appearances who’ll be a danger and who won’t. Construction worker harassment is just a stereotype – some men who work in construction do it, but not always, and not just them. It could be any man. Personally, I couldn’t pinpoint a “type” of man who is more likely to randomly harass me, because they’ve all been so different from each other in any physically apparent variable you can think of. There’s no pattern, except that they’re basically always male. Stop trying to derail an important conversation by asking me to answer your shitty, classist, meaningless questions. We’re trying to have an important conversation over here, and you’re interrupting. You get to talk all the goddamn time so for once could you please just PIPE DOWN AND PUT YOUR FUCKING DICK BACK IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS.

Not All Bankers

Society

A bunch of people in the comments thread of the above video are ironically reenforcing everything Laci is saying by doing what she predicts they will do: justifying a failure to take rape accusations seriously by claiming that some of them are false. It’s a pretty huge leap to go from “some accusations are false” to “we should suspect all accusations of being false, even if it prevents the WAY higher proportion of actual victims from getting justice”. So, I thought I’d show it by writing about another crime in the same way that many people write and speak about rape.

Fraud: a serious crime with devastating effects for victims. Some fraud accusations are false ones, and when a false accusation of fraud is made, it can ruin the lives of the accused. They lose public trust, and as a result can sometimes lose their jobs and find it almost impossible to get hired anywhere. Very few fraud accusations are actually found to be false, but because false accusations of fraud are so harmful to the accused, we should assume all people who cry fraud are untrustworthy, and stand in solidarity behind the people being accused until it can be proven that they’re guilty.

Of course, investigating a fraud accusation thoroughly and without bias is a bit challenging when you start out thinking the accusation is false, as you’re much more likely to ignore evidence or make excuses in an attempt to eliminate the cognitive dissonance that results when evidence contradicts your previously held beliefs about the case, but it’s the price we have to pay for a fair legal system. Sure, the vast majority of fraud victims who have lost everything they have as a result of the crime committed against them, and who may never recover from the experience, are in a pretty tough spot. No one is saying fraud isn’t a horrible crime. But no one ever talks about the victims of false fraud accusations. It could ruin their reputation. They could lose their jobs. It’s truly devastating.

Look, it’s a “he said, she said” situation, so how can we even know that a depositor is telling the truth? Where’s the proof that their banker used their trusted position and control over the depositor’s financial assets to steal all the depositor’s money? If the depositor wanted to be believed, they should have kept all their banking paper work. And why are they just coming out with this accusation now? This fraud happened weeks ago. Why didn’t they come forward right away?

I mean, the depositor gave the banker their money. It’s not really like the banker took it from them without their consent. I think we all can agree that bankers will be bankers, and that this banker had a promising career ahead of them that has sadly been ruined. The depositor was pretty much asking for it, too, when they didn’t ensure enough security measures were put in place around their accounts. They shouldn’t have even been depositing money in that part of town in the first place. Most depositors actually want to lose all their money, but then feel embarrassed about it after so they accuse bankers of fraud to cover up their mistakes. It’s disgusting.

I might also add that not all bankers commit fraud. In fact, fraud can even be committed by people in other professions. So why are we targeting only bankers? It’s reverse-discrimination!

Does any of that sound legit? What if we treated murder accusations the same way? Theft? Arson? Physical assault? Blackmail?

The point of Laci’s video is: we don’t treat other crime accusations the same way we treat rape ones, even though false accusations of other crimes happen at a similar or higher frequency and are just as damaging, which is actually really weird if you think about it. And if you think we have to treat rape differently because it’s “hard to prove” or a “he said, she said” situation, and other crimes are not, then you really must live in a bubble. May your beautiful bubble world, in which all fraud cases can be easily traced and proven beyond a reasonable doubt and all rape cases with hard evidence are duly convicted on the strength of the proof brought forward, never be shattered by the harsh realities of life and the average legal system.

Listen, if we want to solve the problem of false rape accusations, being suspicious of accusers isn’t the way. We’ve been doing it for decades, and there are still false accusations that are still devastating to those they happen to, so it’s obviously not helping the falsely accused. There are also insanely low reporting rates, and of those that get reported, insanely high rates of withdrawals and low rates of trial and conviction, so it’s also preventing actual victims from obtaining justice. Not to mention the power it gives to criminals, who know that they can continue reoffending because their chances of being convicted are so low. Basically, this method of combatting the scourge of false accusations is hurting EVERYONE involved (except rapists) and helping NO ONE (except rapists). Why do we still do it?

We should be striving to better educate the public about legal processes, holding the media we consume to a higher standard of reporting, and putting more robust discrimination laws in place to protect people being unfairly treated following an acquittal, and we should be doing this while taking all accusations seriously* and giving them the thorough and unbiased investigation processes they deserve. But of course, those are logical steps that don’t involve slut-shaming female victims, demasculinizing male victims, and all-around dehumanizing any victims that don’t fit into that binary, so I guess they’re not as fun, right? No, they would involve actual work, and who wants to do that? I guess since it’s the kind of thing the extremist feminazis and their pathetic mob-ruling sheeple followers want, it’s not as edgy or free-thinking. I can see that your insistence on upholding the status quo is so much more radical. Please consider my mistaken belief, that taking rape victims seriously will lead to a fairer judicial process for all, to be duly corrected.

*It should be noted that a call to take accusations seriously is not synonymous with a call to believe all accusers without due process and thorough investigation, so stop acting like it is to create a false dichotomy that you can use to your own slut-shaming and rape-apologizing ends. The reason people like Laci use the word “believe” so often is because when people come forward with a rape accusation, the most common response is “I don’t believe you” or some variation thereof, and it needs to stop.